Saturday, April 25, 2009

Learning lessons

Did you know that other moms have bad days, too? I would like to thank my neighbor for reminding me of this important lesson. As we watched our kids play in the backyard, she told me about all the ways her bad day went to worse with every turn. I tried to fill myself with empathy for all her misfortune, but instead I was laughing inside and feeling quite thankful for my neighbor and friend.

Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, I knocked on her front door carrying two bowls of ice cream. One bowl for her to wash away her bad day; one bowl for me to celebrate friendship.

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Yesterday, I tried reasoning with my three-year-old.

"If you made the mess, you must clean it up."

"If you don't eat your breakfast, you can't have a snack."

"If you don't take your nap, you won't be able to watch TV."

Simple reason and simple consequence, right? Not exactly.

The light bulb went on for me last night as she was taking her bath. She offered me some "tea" she had just made with the bath water. I politely said, "No thank, you." And she said, "I'll drink it."

She still drinks bath water. How can I possibly reason with that?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lately, I haven't agreed with Oprah on much of anything. Her glamorous, TV, urban Chicago lifestyle seems waaay out of touch with my middle-of-Kansas-stay-at-home-mom lifestyle. I even dropped my "O" magazine subscription. I just couldn't connect anymore.

But sometime last week, as I was feeding the baby and flipping through the channels, she caught my attention. She had devoted a show to mothers and had this to say,

"We hear from mothers all the time who say they feel alone. They feel overwhelmed; they feel sometimes inadequate. And you say you're afraid to admit the truth for fear of being judged."

I watched the rest of the show in (almost) total agreement.

I feel totally overwhelmed and quite inadequate - and I don't want to admit that. That's why I have been avoiding the Potted Goose. I don't want to face this honesty - face the feelings I have that I am not giving my best to my children and that my life seems to spin out of control any number of days of the week.

But watching the show made me realize that I am doing myself - and all moms out there who used to visit the Potted Goose - a serious injustice. I created this website as a means to connect with other moms, and as a means of self-therapy. You know that "I can laugh about it now" feeling that comes hours after your one year old threw a tantrum on the kitchen floor because you wouldn't let him have Easter candy at 8:05 in the morning.

So, I am really going to try to keep the Potted Goose up to date. Really. I mean it this time.

I guess Oprah still does have that inspirational thing going for her.
















(The fam on Easter morning. We only made it to church on time thanks to the extra help from my mom and my two sisters.)